Life is so good for me at the moment. I think. Yay!

my life is such a mess at the moment its a joke. there are so many people who just think im a total wank. i spent my 3 day weekend going out every night and recovering during the days.
at least on friday night i got to DJ and be the official photographer.

goals for this week:
1. go to all my lectures
2. get my wallet from brown alley
3. sort out new tickets for wed night if theyve been stolen
4. sort out friday nights
5. get back together with hugh
6. only drink on wed night
7. dont drink excessivly
8. work out how to apply for another uni
9. eat 3 meals every day
10. sort out my text books
12. do my oral
13. do my french recording

bye bye

Why?

An albino man sat next to me on the train. He couldn't open his eyes. I've never seen something as white as his eyelashes.

Ilya found the charger i KNEW was at home somewhere after I'd bought a new one a few hours before (school one is still stolen- bastards)

Water poured out of the roof in the kitchen because the fridge of the people upstairs exploded and it flooded. We went up and everyone in the building got towels and began wiping it up. Ilya and I moved everything out of the kitchen and we got bowels and glasses and everything to make the spouts go not just on the bench or on the floor. Sherbert was so wet. The water was yellow and we couldn't wash our hands properly because they turned off the building's water supply.

It's all fixed now.

Apart from the fridge. And my lost charger. And the man's sensitive eyes.

I hope I don't have more nightmares tonight.

Love, me.

Question: Where do babies come from?
Children's answers:
-Desire for welfare
-Carelessness
-Ignored prayers
-I'd like to say something but i'm a lady and would like to remain a lady
-I'll spell it: b-u-t

Hot dogs give me energy so I can fight off my demons

Anyway, this weekend was messed. Saturday night I ended up passed out in a bathroom for an hour waking only to vomit up the events of the night never to be confronted again. Yesterday I was still sick but sometime soon all my nasties and mistakes will be gone. This morning I was confronted by a nasty but I think it might be okay. But I am still in love. So yeah. That makes me happy.

Words of the weekend that make me smile: Trampoline, tee pee, jungle gym, tent, vacant lot, fairy lights, the go team, platforms, indie club, sms.

I have so much to say but can't tell a soul.

So now I must leave.

xoxo

omg theres this weird little black fly thing thats been hovering around my desk since early last night.

today i bought my mama a bouquet of white lillies because we fought yesterday, even though it was her screaming at me, i know it was because of her own insecurities. it was good to see her smile. and i almost cried- but i didnt. FIRST TIME THIS WEEK!

in other news- I HAVE HAD A MASSIVE REVELATION. that i have had once before, but needed to be reminded of. and that awesome person was nathan. ahhhhhh.

my problem: guys.
my issue: that i OVERANALYSE and LOOK to find things wrong with them therefore separating myself from them.

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.

its so retarded. SO retarded!!! so. here we go. im going to try a new outlook. disregarding the little things i so easily notice, or not even looking for them to notice in the first place. and maybe someday maybe ill live to see past a 2 month relationship.

but im also so very confused. ill sleep on it. and i hope that in my drastic and emotional state my REM sleep will not be filled with crapstastic dreams that will make me even more confused slash i dont know what im feeling right now.

how to .... best apply this new found technique?

im having awesome DNMs with everyone about boys and school and life and food and its so good.

you make me real.